the television commercial review blog

by kim-jun il-lation

ANNOUNCEMENTS: I’ amma am n ey new, I say, author to this place, I don’t know how. You should not look at my name because I say I am the owner of North Korea and no internet allowed in North Korea. You should not look at my name because I say I am the owner of North Korea and no internet allowed in North Korea. I have to sneak internet under my covers at “bed time sleep” at night but (shh!) me don’t want any of my servants to find, becuase they shan’t start passing pink notes on writing to my close comrades, whom might not say anything if they do happen to hear rumors of me using the, how do you say, “sneaky peaky internet,” as yes, that is how you say “sneaking a-peaking” in country.

I DO NOT LIKE THIS COMMERCIAL AND ME DO NOT LIKE. Perhaps a 15 public swicket spankings alloted to traylor whom watch this stupid television commercial — in my country, my beloved country — I hate this commercial many more times than I hate Sarah Palin on cover of newsweek megaphone.

There are many a thing USA scandalize my brain, and always Dick Cheny piss me off. Not only that, but I like to, by and with my own purpose, watch the Fox and Its Friends in the morning, becuase I have never scene so many new anchors in the same place, at the same time and so delicate features, and oh! Oh to what scale that make me feel so soft, much like they’re soft and sicememimibi [no translation]. But shortly after I start feeling so good watching my delicate secrets, Fox and the Friends, I AM so PISSED OFF, because a half MAKE ME SICK and other half make me, cry. And for this selfsame reason me not allow to let others watch television in my country — my country, which is the best country in the entire solar system — don’t question, or you where russquinishilly-wundinewruko-koi [equal to american duncecap] in public cobblestone town square for 3 full hours, at the right time of day, when the sun is at its apex, melting the criminals skin and leaving them feeling silly fools!

I like T-PAIN sunglasses, white one of my favorite colors for sunglasses, but woodgrain, I wish they were woodgrain frame with North Korean flag on side of the oakley’s, polarized lenses, much like a nice early ’90s baseball player on the trading cards of fleer-hi-flyers and the angels in the outfield the the time traveler whose hair be gray (in the film only, he didn’t have baby greys).

ILLATIONS:

Characters = Very boring, not hi-brow actors, very low-brow with no formal training, nor instinc on when to “pull the reins, dolly.” and me give a big red F the national report card of progress social suppression analytics:

Theme = I do not understand what he is saying, very putrid

Action = riding bus boring, I have private driver

Duration = what is?

Rating: 30 seconds of don’t tell my country i’m on here, it is secret like delicate secrets

30 SECONDS OF HELL