by Mr. Football

Serryously, I’m freakin’ POed that the Cow Girls are tardy for game time. Prolly their just makin’ out back in there locker room. They’re job is to be on the field on time because that is they’re job and that is what their paid to do. Hello, duh.

Maybe their i the locker room gicking it out. After that maybe wet N wild in the shower for soapy time? I am filled with questions.

And no, I’m not still filled with questions after the wrestling team deliberations. I mean, what the fuck, I didn’t make the freakin’ team so I just think the coach is a wimp and he was afraid of my boppin’ him in the nose of freakin smearing him with one of my golden signature knuckle sandwiches. I’M TALKING FOOT LONG.

This is racism. Seriously, I’m calling the cops.

Rating: 30 seconds of hell.

Here’s a fun one. This Willie Horton ad is a classic. Notice how the words “Kidnapping”, “Stabbing”, and “Raping” appear on the screen. Michael Dukakis personally let Willie out of his cell. Willie kept saying “Mike, I cannot wait to get out of this jail cell so that I can commence with the rapin’” and Dukakis was like, “Hold your horses, we’ll get you out on the streets in no time. God George HW Bush would totally kick my ass if he knew I was doing this, haw haw, gimme some more blow (COCAINE), haw, haw.”

The ad played a significant role in getting Bush elected. Dukakis is the president of his cell block in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.

And that is why we won the first Gulf War so decisively. And then Ross Perot.

Rating: Thirty Seconds of Heaven

I’m not entirely clear on what this commercial is supposed to be advertising for, but it sure is offensive. No amount of sentimental banjo playing or smiling black laborers can convince me otherwise.

Confederate Family acknowledges that many other people might feel similarly to me and answers back with the statement, “no matter what they call you, at the end of the day, you’re still just Dad.” Yes, a very racist Dad in a very racist family. Congratulations!

Our next racist ad needs no explanation. If you are not offended by this, there is seriously something wrong with you.
Rating: 60 Seconds of Offensive