This commercial is both funny and scary to me.  This bug speaks with a calm, creepy baritone voice that reminds me of the killer from “No Country for Old Men.”  You know he really wants to do more than use your phone, but you can’t help but be caught off guard by his compliment of your beautiful oak floors.  Do you let him in?

Review: 30 seconds of creepy insect heaven.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but this ad from 1982 was aired right around that time that AIDS (the disease) was becoming a global crisis.  I’m not sure how they didn’t see this as the “worst possible name for a diet pill,” at the time.  That’s like naming a tobacco product canzer.

Rating:  30 seconds of whoopsies

This one seems to have really taken a page out of Sega CD’s playbook. See “older posts,” for evidence.

Rating: 30 seconds of unoriginal ideas.

I’m not entirely clear on what this commercial is supposed to be advertising for, but it sure is offensive. No amount of sentimental banjo playing or smiling black laborers can convince me otherwise.

Confederate Family acknowledges that many other people might feel similarly to me and answers back with the statement, “no matter what they call you, at the end of the day, you’re still just Dad.” Yes, a very racist Dad in a very racist family. Congratulations!

Our next racist ad needs no explanation. If you are not offended by this, there is seriously something wrong with you.
Rating: 60 Seconds of Offensive

This lost gem from 1994 is one of those “is this a real product?” commercials that makes you wonder how well they thought the product’s name through. I realize that 1994 was over 15 years ago, but I’m pretty sure the term “boner,” has been used as slang for an erect penis since at least the mid ’80s. How could the Wunder Boner’s creator have not realized this? Or maybe it’s possible that they purposely chose such a silly name as a way to use humor to sell their product.

The ad starts with a simple premise; three friends fishing on a warm summer’s day. One friend seems to be humoring the other two by continuing to hang out with them after becoming a successful businessman while they work to get their high-school equivalency. The two “good-ol’ boys,” are suddenly shocked when their pretentious asshole of a friend willingly offers to clean the day’s catch. This turns into another opportunity for him to condescendingly teach his less fortunate friends something new. Thus, the unveiling of the ‘Wunder Boner.”

As the product is gruesomely demonstrated, one can’t help but think of the word, “Fatality!” from the popular Mortal Kombat video-game series. One friend (whose secret acting weapon is simply tipping his University of Michigan baseball cap before speaking) exclaims “the Wunder Boner!” The other, more portly gentlemen, jokes “my wife would like that.” It’s statements like this which make me think more and more, that whoever wrote the script for this commercial was having a lil’ bit o’ fun with it. The ad ends with the three friends sitting around a campfire, merrily feasting on their perfectly de-boned fish. All parties agree, “the Wunder Boner is a winner.”

Rating: 30 Seconds of WTF?

This ad for a hospital makes light of possibly the most beloved of all slap-stick injuries, the swift kick to a man’s testis.  Where did they find this kid, who so eloquently narrates a Chuck Norris fight scene?  My guess is a MacDonald’s play-place.  Though the anecdote is an amusing one, the titles at the end bring the viewer back to reality by emphasizing the seriousness of injury and that one should always seek medical attention from a reputable hospital as soon as possible.  Burger loving kid delivers serious message in an adorable way.

Rating:  30 seconds of Heaven.

This ad examines the thoughts that go through the minds of many girls in this situation; “why put something in your mouth if it is not going to have the same refreshing qualities of a shaken up bottle of Sprite?”  Honestly I was a little taken aback by this ad, as it seemed a little too racy, even for a sexually liberated country like Germany.  But then, I guess that explains why it was banned.